Gain in Loss

I sleep to find peace but then I wake up to a nightmare.

Without a fail, the moment I open up my eyes, the magnitude would register to me: My loss is R E A L.

The feelings are deep, my heart is drowned, I want to wake up. I want to wake up. I want to wake up for real.

But it’s real. Reality hit me. Justice is costly, or maybe selfish and truth is a bendable thing – to some as how they see.

 

But they don’t know the heavens cracked up as the sweetest thing happened: in the deepest I shouted the most powerful Name ever known. I shouted the sweetest Name in the deepest of the darkest. In his fear I cried out His Name, he snatched my bag and ran, ran as fast as he could, leaving my vain attempts of much effort of getting into him. My voice came to its loudest waking up the streets. His fears ran away with him, along with my things. His fears ate him up. His fears caused him to sin.

I am okay but that doesn’t mean that what happened is okay.

I lost too much. TOO MUCH.

I drew my things one by one. Indeed, I lost TOO MUCH.

 

But in my loss, I’ve found MUCH GAIN. The moment my bag was taken from me, I knew I could live without it. The moment he tried to scare me of stabbing me, I knew I am God’s protected. Indeed, I AM God’s protected. The moment the people helped me of trying to bring it back again, I knew I heard the LORD say, ‘Stop, it won’t get anywhere’.
I know God could bring back my bag wholly, with all of my things untouched and bring it right in front of my door. I know the moment the man was out of my sight, there is no way he would be out of the sight of the LORD and God knows what is going on in his heart and in his mind. I know God could do all things. And for some reason, this is what He’s got to do at the moment.

As I entered my safe place, what I could only utter was ‘Thank You, LORD’. Surely, NO place on earth is safe but in His hands. I sang Him praises amidst my wearied body. I lifted up my hands from a heart overflowing of worship to my Great Great King.

 

It took me the most important earthly things to me that I may see I am so firm in the love of the LORD.

It took me the most important earthly things to me that I may see how God has taken me into a deep foundation in Him.

It took me the most important earthly things to me that I may see how He prepared BETTER and LASTING POSSESSIONS for me, in the place where I belong.

 

My identity is whole.
My security unshaken.
My faith perfect in Him.

 

It took me TOO MUCH to gain SOOOOOOOO MUCH.
It broke out silence. It cracked up the shell.
Pauline is new, is PERFECT in Him. Wholly, fully.

 

For certain, God’s love protects.

 

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Psalm 91:14-16 (NIV)